My Grandma

This morning I woke up and found myself thinking about my Grandmother.  She was such a warm and loving person.  She seemed never to tire of children...Lord knows she had enough grandkids.  She played a big role in my life and I don't remember a time when she didn't have time for anyone of us except when her "stories" (Soap Operas) were on.   If you called her from between 1:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m. she would say, abruptly I might add,  "I can't talk now" and the phone would go dead.  LOL  She always called you right back AFTER the Soaps were over and she never forgot you had called.

My Grandmother and I in 1951

I would say that she was one of the most forgiving people I have ever met and it didn't matter what someone did or said to her, she always found some reason to excuse the behavior.  I wish I had some of that in myself.  She never missed a Sunday in Church and was always praying for everybody.  She was on a Prayer Chain in her Church where people would call her with requests for prayers and she would stop whatever she was doing and start praying for whoever needed prayers, which pretty much was all the time.

I remember her sweet little smile and the way she would turn her head a tilt. Her smile would melt even the hardest of hearts.  That's not to say that she wouldn't give you a "what for" if you disobeyed her or didn't listen to her advice.  We all knew how much we could get away with.

Her life wasn't an easy one and after raising my dad and two other siblings of her own, she pretty near raised the nine of us as well.  She and Grandpa lived in a little one bedroom house just a few steps from the "big house" (which is what we called it) where we lived.  She sold the "big house" to my dad and they converted a little garage into the cutest little house.  So, when she wasn't in our house helping my mom we were in her little house visiting her.  My great-grandparents lived next door so we were completely sheltered in a way, always having the voices of all of them and all their superstitions as well.  HA HA

She was very frugal and I always thought that she could make 2 pennies out of one.  Never stingy, just frugal and always making use of everything and never throwing anything away.  It was from her that I learned how to cook.  No one and I mean no one could make homemade chicken and dumplings like she could.  She never had a recipe and relied upon the many years of adding and deducting the ingredients until she figured out the right consistency.  My first batch was so bad, I could have broken out a window if I'd thrown it.  LOL  But I did as she did until I found MY own consistency.  Every Christmas that was her gift to all of us...her homemade chicken and dumplings.

I remember when she got sick (after my grandfather passed) she sort of lost her will to live and wanted to die...I sensed the feeling she had no purpose...not having anyone to take care of anymore.  So she refused to eat and lay in the bed at the nursing home, I suppose waiting to die.  But that never happened and one day she told the nursing assistant,  "Well, I might as well get up as it looks like God isn't going to let me die yet."  And that being said, that is exactly what she did...she got up and started "running the nursing home"  LOL  Of course, it made her feel useful again to "boss" the residents and staff around and they all seemed to follow along.  We all need a sense of purpose and she found hers once again.

When the time finally came for her to die, she pretty much starved to death because of cancer and she was too old to have any surgery at that time.  I recall going to the hospital and sitting with her and out of the blue she said to me "I'm going to die".  She couldn't cry because something was wrong with her tear ducts but the terror of the thought was there without the tears.  I thought there was no sense in telling her that it wasn't true so I told her I knew.  She grabbed my hand and looked at me so intently and said, "But if I die, how will I see you again"? I really wasn't prepared for the question but somehow the words flowed out of mouth without me having to think about them.  I said, "Well, when we close our eyes and think about each other, we will see each other".  That seemed to soothe her for the time being.

Six weeks later, she passed away.  I wasn't with her because I was helping take care of her daughter's husband, who was also dying.  (She loved her son-in-law as much as she loved her daughter and they both always said that when one died the other would follow...they would go together and two days after he passed she did as well).

As with all deaths, the realization that she and my uncle would no longer be with us was extremely difficult for all of us to deal with but with time, we all came to know that they were in a much better place, no longer suffering.  It is then that you finally let go. I still see her in my minds eye from time to time with that sweet little smile and the tilt of her head.  It's almost as if I can hear her talking to me, whispering that she is waiting for all of us, that we must move on and make the best of life that we can and I smile back in my mind's eye and I can see her once again just the way I used to see her as a child with that sweet smile upon her face.

Thankfulness

Quote of the Day:


For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson



Happy Thanksgiving!  May you be blessed by the company of family, good friends, and wonderful food.  May your hearts be filled of gratitude and love during this time of Thanksgiving.

A Quote And A Little Barbara Streisand/Don Johnson Duet

Quote of the Day:

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Give someone you love a hug today.

AFTER A WHILE

 I have an album full of articles and poems that I have read over the years and the ones that I thought were particularly enlightening I would cut out and save.  I don't recall where I found this poem but it was a keeper, at least for me.  I believe that you can apply the wisdom in these words to just about any situation you may be going or have gone through.  

We all go through our lives with certain expectations applying them to every aspect of our lives.  Sometimes you aren't disappointed and other times you are.  I believe that each situation we encounter brings with it the opportunity to learn something about yourself.  It may not always turn out to be what you had hoped for or what you wanted but you can be assured that it will bring a lesson that you can learn from. 

I wanted to share this poem with you and hope you can apply it to whatever is going on in your life or perhaps with someone you do know who is having difficulties now.  I hope it brings someone a lift. 

   AFTER A WHILE

   Veronica A. Shoffstall

  After a while, you learn the subtle difference

  Between holding a hand and chaining a soul   

  And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

  And company doesn’t mean security,

  And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts

  And presents aren’t promises,

  And you begin to accept your defeats

  With your head up and your eyes open

  With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

  And you learn to build all your roads on today

  Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.

  And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

  After a while, you learn

  That even the sunshine burns if you get too much.

   So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

   Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

   And you learn that you really can endure…

   That you really are strong.

   And you really do have worth.

   And you learn and learn…

   With every goodbye you learn.   

Joyeux Anniversaire

Today is our 41 wedding anniversary and I wanted to share with you the wonderful man that made that possible.  This is the smile and man that captured my heart and still does. He is my best friend, my companion, a confidant, and lover, the source of my strength. Thank you for always being there for me and for sharing your life with me.

  The year and the song seem just like yesterday.